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PhiFoundation.org mission statement: "Even in your darkest hour, I do not abandon you."

Advice for Teen Girls

Fun and Enjoyable Songs

Here is a great empowering 2014 song for girls. It is Roar by Katy Perry. But this version is sung by 10 year old Mariangeli so listen to this first. Latest News: California Gurls (by Katy Perry) number one song in America in June 2010. Both of Katy's parents were pastors and she grew up listening to Christian Music only.  Katy Perry was singing gospel music. Then Katy heard Alanis Morisette and everything changed. California Gurls is like her rebelling against the above. Then 2 young women made their Minnesota version of it called Minnesota Gurls. Here is the professional high quality California Gurls.

My friend Jen, 17 years old, does not like popular songs. She likes Indie music. Here is what she says about the above song, in case you do not like it:

I think I'm going to stab rusty nails into my ears. That stupid California song you are scarishly in love with is haunting my mind....it's like that banana phone song....it WILL NOT leave my head and is driving me insane xD hGSGSAAAHHJG GAAAAHHHH!!!

Would you please kindly assist me in smashing my head with a sledgehammer until I discontinue breathing? x) I didn't have a choice but TO listen because it was on the radio...and then it came on again.

Songs in other languages do not become hits in America, but there are exceptions. Here is Psy in Gangnum Style at a summer concert in Korea. The teens in this look like they are having a great deal of fun.

Inspiration for All Teens


Latest News: May 31, 2010. You are going to love this. I never say that since I do not know that. But teens love this lecturer. He makes them cry! Watching it will increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. You have to see him and decide for yourself. But he is not like any lecturer that you have ever seen before. I am tempted to tell you the surprise but I trust you to start watching it and you will see the big surprise right away. So watch this short video now and see if he inspires you or not. Let me know if he does not inspire you. Or you can let me know if he makes you cry!

Movie Suggestions

It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice. First is a suggestion from me about advice for teen girls. All girls, teenage girls, teen girls and young women should watch the movie, Whale Rider. It is the most empowering movie for girls [empower-- 1) to give power or authority to 2) to give ability to]. You can show it at a slumber party. It is about a village in New Zealand that has always had a male chief. The only person in line to become chief is a girl.

But the old chief wants a male chief so he starts training the boys in the village and the best one will become chief. But the girl knows that she should be the next chief and she has the blood of all the previous chiefs running through her veins. It has the best ending in a movie ever. You will never guess the ending.

More advice for teen girls would be after you watch that, you can get the movie, Proof, with Gwenneth Paltrow. In it, her father is the leading math genius in the world but is going senile. But he tries to pass on that genius to his daughter. Here is a great movie I just saw. Make sure to watch it. It is called A Little Princess (1995). It explains why all girls are princesses.

Short Story

Here is a story that teaches you about men. I was driving a taxi cab in center city Philadelphia. I saw a young woman hailing my cab. She was dressed nicely, like she were at a prom and she was crying. When I pulled up to her, she did not get in but told me that she did not have any money and so could I take her home and then she will go up to her apartment and bring down the money to me. Well I had heard that story before, so I told her to drop dead. No, I am just kidding. I told her that was fine.

She was not at a prom but at a wedding. Her boyfriend gave her a ride to the wedding. She left her pocketbook with her keys and money in his car. After the wedding, they got into an argument and her boyfriend said to her, "I am going home without you. Let's see you get home without any money." She lived in an expensive apartment building with a desk person that could let her into her apartment without her key.

When we got to her apartment I told her that I did not want her to think that all guys are like her boyfriend so the cab ride is free of charge. She said that she really wanted to pay me since I was so nice to her. She came down with the money and paid me. I gave her my card and asked her to read the top of it out loud. She read, "Even in your darkest hour, I will not abandon you."

Professional Advice

This great advice for teen girls comes from the book, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (Copyright 1994) by Mary Pipher Ph.D. She is a psychologist that only works with adolescent (between puberty and adult) girls. This book was a #1 New York Times best seller. So this is expert advice for teen girls. The back cover says "Why are more adolescent girls prey to depression, eating disorders, addictions and suicide attempts than ever before? According to Dr. Mary Pipher...we live  in a...'girl poisoning' culture." She says that it is worse than ever before.

Ophelia is a character from Shakespeare's Hamlet. As a girl she is happy and free.  She falls in love with Hamlet and he later rejects her and she goes mad with grief. Here are more quotes from this book. "Girls know they are losing themselves. One girl said 'Everything good in me died in Junior High.'" "I encourage girls to observe our culture with the eyes of an anthropologist in a strange new society."

Sudoku is a great way to practice concentration and to feel relaxation. Crossword puzzles require you to imagine many things. With Sudoku you just use logic and step by step approach. Once you learn how to do it, it is very enjoyable.

Free sudoku by SudokuPuzz

"Life in the 1990s is so stressful that all girls need predictable ways to calm themselves. If they don't have positive ways such as exercise [like yoga], reading, hobbies or meditation, they will have negative ways such as eating, drinking, drugs or self-mutilation (cutting)." More on this at bottom of page.

"Validation" is being recognized as someone that is a valuable person. "Girls...are also vulnerable to depression if they happen to be in an environment where they are not validated. I teach them to look within themselves for validation." "...resisting the cultural pressure to become the object of male experience.... Gloria Steinem calls it 'healthy rebellion.'"

"I encourage girls to find some ways to help people on a regular basis. Volunteer work, good deeds for neighbors and political action help girls move into a larger world." "Camps, foreign exchange student programs and long summers with far away relatives are great opportunities for growth."

"Girls do better in cooperative environments and in all-girl math and science classes." The author of School Girls suggests all-girl schools. On another page of this website is "What is Enlightenment." It has info from the book, Authentic Happiness by Dr. Seligman. The best advice for teen girls would to be happier. I just made up this saying. To avoid hurting yourself, avoid hurting others.

Here is what Dr. Mary Pipher says about that book. "Seligman takes the best, most recent science in psychology and applies it to our oldest, most basic human qualities: How can we be happy? And how can we be good? His book is groundbreaking, heart-lifting, and most important, deeply useful." The webpage What is Enlightenment will also help to validate you, increase your self-esteem and self confidence.

Also see (Natural Healing) with suggestions on diet and lifestyle that can greatly help with mental issues (like depression) and awesome short stories to inspire and uplift people with mental challenges. The Links page has a 3rd link, Helpguide, with expert advice on eating disorders. There is more advice for teen girls after the part on cutting for cutters.

A teenage actress was being interviewed by a magazine. She said that she had seen Tom Cruise in movies and had imagined being married to him. She had figured that she would be married to him by now so apparently her imagination had gotten the better of her. Her name is Katie Holmes and she did marry Tom Cruise when she was in her 20s. He proposed to her on the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France.

I found this article: 32 Amazing Online Resources To Help Empower Girls

What Has Gone Wrong and How to Fix It (This Advice is Also Good for Boys)

In America and probably the rest of the Western Society, there is a problem with lack of self-esteem. This is explained in the book, The Continuum Concept (original copyright 1975 by Jean Liedloff). It tells the right way to raise infants and children. See the Links page for more on this book and a link to their website. In the movie, Karate Kid, Miyagi says that there are no bad students, only bad teachers. I say that there are no bad children, only bad parents.

Sometimes horrible criminals like mass murderers and rapists will have terrible parents. Then other times they will have normal parents. The book mentioned above explains how good parents can really be terrible parents without them or anyone knowing it. Many who have read this book after being 'good' parents get very depressed realizing that they raised their kids so badly.

The way that children in Western society are raised comes from Nazi Germany. Adolf Hitler was an absolute dictator. What is a dictator? One who dictates. The definition of dictate is to issue as an order or to impose, pronounce or specify authoritatively. Does this sound familiar? Your parents are the absolute dictators of you when you are growing up. That is generally speaking. My saying is that all rules have exceptions, except some.

The parent says "Jump" and the child says "How high?" The bible even teaches that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. Nazis worshiped the bible. If your parents teach you religion then you have them dictating to you and God commanding you. In fact, one commandment of God is to honor your father and mother. This bible was written by adults, not children. Now you have parents and God that can punish you if you do not do what they want you to do. It is no wonder that so many children want to kill themselves. My blog tells about a teenage girl that tried it.

In The Continuum Concept it tells how children have been raised the same way for tens of thousands of year by a village. The Christians would call these people "Godless Savages" (unlike Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan and Muslim terrorists that all believe in God). This creates resistance to the teachings in this book. The main part is how they raise infants that turns them into great children. The 8 year old girls in this village are better at taking care of infants than Western mothers are.

Read the book or website for more on this foundation the kids get as babies (brief description). These kids do not fight or argue with each other. Also here is the big difference. The parents never, ever tell the children what to do. They do not dictate like a dictator. They do not say "Go do your homework!" The children always make the choice and of what they want to do. Because of how they were raised as babies, they are eager to help out. The children have no reason to ever say to their parents, "I hate you!"

Now what happens to kids raised like this? They do not become rapists and murderers. By the way, one of the kids at Columbine High School massacre left a video saying that he was going to kill all these students to get back at his parents. Now whenever these townspeople see these parents, they think how they created a monster. These adults brought up the right way are happy, fun loving adults. They are not like the miserable adults in our society. Have you heard of road rage?

There is an example in the book of the village adults and Western adults working together. They are carrying the canoes through the woods which is hard work avoiding all the trees. The Western adults are extremely stressed out by this. The village adults are having lots of fun like little kids. Have you ever heard anyone dictate the command Grow up!

Some people would say that the author of this is not an expert on children since she is a psychologist with no children. But now this concept is supported by an MD that is a Christian and a pediatrician (Dr. Sears).  He and his wife (a Registered Nurse) have written The Baby Book. Two of their children are MDs and support this concept. They call it 'attachment parenting' and 'baby wearing'.

Note that many insults are hurled at people to try to control them or get them to do something. The adults in this village love to help others and no one tries to convince someone to do something. Also people may compliment you to try to get you to do something. In this village there are no insults and compliments are sincere. If someone needs something, they never ask for it. Then the person would have to answer "yes or no." They will simply mention their need.

Kahlil Gibran was born in Lebanon in 1883 and died in New York City, USA. He is against trying to make your kid like you, but in favor of you trying to be like your kid. Jesus said "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4 NKJV. The bible also says, Proverbs 23:13, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die."

Kahlil Gibran says, in The Prophet,

Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tallies with yesterday [tallies-- to make count of].

What Happened to Me

I was born before Jean Liedloff wrote this book. I was born in a hospital in New York City. It had many baby girls there, but I was the only baby boy. So the nurses were lined up to hold me. Maybe they thought it was good luck.There was a movie called Good Luck Chuck.

Then my mother divorced my Irish Catholic father since he had a drinking problem and she moved in with her wealthy Jewish parents. My grandmother could afford to buy anything, but her favorite thing to do was to hold me. So she did it all the time. That is the basis of having a lot of self-esteem. After she died, when I was 6 years old, many of her friends told me that she was the nicest woman that they had ever known.

Gender Identity

On the Dr. Phil TV show, Dr. Phil said that he got many letters about boys that want to do what girls do and girls that want to do what boys do. Being a good business man, he did not choose either side. He let the 2 sides fight it out on his show. One side teaches that it is OK. The other side teaches that it is wrong and the child needs to be changed.

This issue is not discussed in the book. But the boys would usually go hunting (only if they want to) and the girls would do cooking and preparing food. Say that the above happened and a girl wanted to go hunting and the boy wanted to do the chores that the girls do. Well they do not dictate and they do not judge. So this would be completely accepted. Again, it is the child's choice to be and do what they want to. In America there are over 50,000 intersexuals. This means that they are neither male nor female. They may have one testicle and one ovary.

Yoga

Here are some quotes about yoga by Timothy McCall M.D. from his book, Yoga as Medicine: The Yogic Prescription for Health and Healing (Copyright 2007) "I've gained muscle, lost fat and become a lot more flexible." "What's become more important to me is the mental peace that has come...." "Stepping out of the crazy, fast-paced world to pay close attention to what's happening right then and there puts me in touch with a calm place deep inside me-- deep inside all of us." "Yoga [includes postures and meditation] is not a panacea [cure-all], but it is powerful medicine indeed for body, mind and spirit." Dr. McCall is a board-certified specialist in internal medicine who started doing yoga in his middle age. The cover of this book says "Read this to find out why we teach our patients yoga-- Mehmet Oz, M.D., author of YOU: The Owners Manual."

I have been doing yoga since age 12!

Social Anxiety

This is normal and common in today's society. For hundreds of thousands of years, people lived in villages. It was like a big family. That is why there is the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child." People took care of each other and shared things so there was no idea of stealing.

If they met with another village to trade or celebrate and have done this many times, they felt relaxed with them. If it was a tribe that they never encountered before (strangers), then they had to be very cautious since the other tribe may kill them. They may be there to rape and pillage (the act of looting [stealing] especially in a war).

Some live in small towns where everyone knows each other like where Avril Lavigne grew up (Napanee, Canada). But most Americans live in big cities or suburbs, where most people are strangers. So this environment creates a lot of stress for the person. But this should motivate you to find ways to relax and de-stress (like yoga) and things that will make you a more relaxed person. See webpage about finding happiness and enlightenment. You can become a very relaxed person who feels perfect peace. It is only then can you be extremely happy.

Keeping a Journal

This information comes from the book, The Psychology Major's Handbook (� 2006) by Dr. Tara L. Kuther (site about her). "The first step in choosing a major is understanding yourself. Personal and reflective writing are important tools to help you understand yourself. Consider keeping a journal, a record of self--reflective writing." It can be a notebook, computer file or blog. "It is a place where you can reflect on yourself and on your experiences, goals, dreams and anxieties."

Here are some of the benefits of journal writing.

Self-Exploration

This is a chance to explore your true thoughts and feelings, learn about yourself and the world around you. "It forces you to focus your thoughts, providing an opportunity to identify your opinions and values."

Therapy

"After a long day or a difficult experience, your journal provides a place for reflection. It's a private opportunity to let out feelings of frustration, anger or anxiety. Writing about your deepest thoughts and feelings, or even about everyday mundane matters, can help you to release pent-up stress, which is vital for your emotional and physical health." Don't censor what you write.

Get Organized

"Writing is an organizational tool. A journal can be a place to gather your thoughts, brainstorm ideas, and plan." It does not have to be well written or scholarly. "With regular use, writing will become a habit and expand beyond everyday topics to include self-reflection, planning, and goal setting."

Solve Problems

You can help solve problems by writing them out and then writing different choices for solutions. Writing requires a different thought process than thinking. "We think in different ways when we write."

Enhance Communication

"The more often you write, the more your writing will improve. Journal writing strengthens communication skills, both oral and written."

Unleash Your Creativity

"Through writing we become more creative." You can say that writing is an art. I was always bad at art but I was great at martial arts which is a type of art form. I like writing and I think that I am good at it. Actually I was complimented on some sales letters that I wrote by a multi-millionaire who read them. He was an expert in psychology having spent 12 years in graduate school studying psychology. Then he taught psychology to the CIA. Actually I had not thought of this in a very long time and I just recalled it while writing this. This brings us right to the next benefit.

Record Your Experience

Doing this gives you a written record of things that happened that will be more precise than your memory. When I started fasting, I kept a journal of how I would feel each day I fasted. "A journal helps you to remember events, experiences, feelings and intentions. It offers a place to record accomplishments, hopes and dreams as well as to retain details that you would probably otherwise forget."

"The more often you write in your journal, the more you will learn about yourself." Everything in quotes in this section is from Dr. Kuther. With a blog (web journal) you can learn computer skills, complain about things to an audience and make a little bit of money. One guy liked celebrities but knew he would never meet one. His blog about it became so popular that now he is friends with many celebrities that he has met and gets to go to all the Hollywood events. If you put Google ads on your blog, then when someone clicks onto an ad, you make money. Just never click on your own ad or you will be banned from having these ads (called Adsense).

When Others Treat You Badly

As I read more problems on forums, I add information to this site. One girl was telling how other girls say mean things to her in school. The more that you care about what others think, the more unhappy you will be. Instead of trying to impress others, try to impress yourself.

When people say mean things to you, even if they are Christians, just wish them a nice day. You can say "Have a nice day" or "I wish you the best in finding what you are looking for." This is how you win every argument. Never say a mean thing back to them, ever. You will be the master of yourself. Now if you fail to do this, do not get mad at yourself, just try it again the next day. There is a saying, "Practice makes perfect."

The mean things that they say will come back on them. See the TV show, My Name is Earl, that is all about this (karma). If you tell them to have a nice day, it will come back on you. Also this is a terrible thing to say to them that might hurt them. But that is their problem, not yours.

[Patronize means to adopt an air of condescension toward] [Condescension is like talking down to someone]. Saying this to someone who is mean to you is patronizing them and saying that you do not take their craziness seriously and you feel bad for them like you feel about a crippled or crazy person.

When people say or do things to hurt you, they are really hurting themselves and helping you. When they do this, they give some of their good luck to you. That means that you have more and they have less. Also they steal from you some of your bad luck and now they have more bad luck and you have less. When people hurt you, then they are giving you some of their good luck and taking away from you some of your bad luck.

The webpage about finding happiness talks about how top psychologists have learned that by helping others (altruistic acts), it makes you happier. Lack of this can contribute to making you depressed. So here is your assignment. You will be working with the actress, Natalie Portman (Queen Amadalia on Star Wars).

You collect used shoes from people that do not need them anymore. Then you will send them to Africa. See this site: shoe4africa.org. Then people in Africa with no shoes can wear them and this will prevent parasites (ringworms) from entering through their feet and living in their body because you saved them from that. Also having shoes increases self-esteem. So you will be increasing their self-esteem and impressing yourself, giving you more self-esteem.

Pain and Suffering

People do their best to avoid pain and suffering. But sometimes it is unavoidable like when teens have bad parents. In A New EarthEckhart Tolle says "Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego." It helps to have the attitude that Asians have toward this. They feel that it improves their character and brings them better luck in the future. A Korean couple cane to the U.S.A. They worked in a convenience store and the owner let them live in the back room which was very uncomfortable. They suffered instead of getting their own apartment with their income. In 2 years they bought their own convenience store.

Wearing a Bra

A 12 year old was asking if she should wear a bra or not on a forum. This is necessary advice for teen girls. In the USA, you cannot vote at that age but the decision to wear a bra is up to you. There is no law that requires you to wear one ever. There is a sexist law that says that you cannot be topless like a man can. There is a group of women trying to change that. You can wait until you feel that you need the support. Or to make them look bigger, there are padded bras and some girls stuff them with tissues. They have training bras so girls can get used to them before they need them but it is up to you. Here is a website that covers all this in detail. 

There are many women in Africa that have never worn a bra ever. The actress, Selma Blair, has been in many great movies. She has small breasts and the internet is filled with pictures of her not wearing a bra. The most famous one is of her in New York when she was wearing a see-through dress. There is also a picture of her pregnant and not wearing a bra. I am a huge fan of Selma Blair. She is the fire starting superhero on Hellboy. She is also in the sequel, Hellboy II, The Golden Army.

Self-Esteem: Are you Too Short

I saw on a forum where a teen age girl was concerned about being too short. There is no need to be concerned about this. Women like tall men but most men like attractive women that are shorter than them. The male singer, Prince, is only 5'2" tall. Madonna is 5'3.5" tall. Drew Barrymore, Natalie Portman, Jodie Foster and Reethe Witherspoon are all only 5'3". Jennifer Love Hewitt is 5'2". Lucy Liu is 5'1.75". Avril Lavigne is 5'1.5". Nicole Richie is 5'1". Christini Ricci is 5'0.5" tall. Dolly Parton, Mary Kate Olson and Paula Abdul are all 5' (five feet tall). The adorable looking Selma Blair is 5 foot, 3 inches tall. She will be on TV on Thursday nights (10/9/08) on the new TV show, Kath and Kim.

Last but not least is my favorite, Shawn Johnson. In the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China she won a gold medal on the balance beam, a silver medal for team, a silver in all-around and a silver in floor exercise. She is the 2007 World All-Around Champion in gymnastics, as well as the 2007 and 2008 U.S. National All-Around Champion. She won the 2006 U.S. Junior National All-Around Championship in gymnastics with a score higher than any of the senior elite competitors that year.  She is 16 years old and is 4 feet, 9 inches tall. Melanie Roach is 5'1" and a mother of 3. Melanie Roach (her website) is on the Olympic team at Beijing 2008 as a weight lifter. She looks thin and weighs 117 pounds, but can lift 250 pounds over her head!

Help With Cutting


Princess Diana was a cutter. She said "You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help." Angelina Jolie, the actress who has starred in the movies Girl Interrupted and Tomb Raider, was born to actor Jon Voight and actress Marcheline Bertrand on June 4, 1975. She was a cutter in her teens but she stopped and now is a humanitarian. Johnny Depp used cutting as a coping mechanism to deal with his life, which was spiraling out of control. To quote Depp, "No matter how famous I am, no matter how many people see my movies, I still have the idea that I am a pale no-hoper." But this changed when he got involved with someone and had a kid.

This is common in our society while it did not exist over 20 years ago. It is "connected to our girl-piercing culture." Cutting is a coping mechanism for people in pain just like drinking alcohol and smoking are coping mechanisms. Girls need a better coping strategy to deal with stress. Cutting or burning themselves becomes a way to calm down and cutting gets harder to stop as it continues. This is quickly curable under guidance and you are no longer a cutter. The best thing is to talk to a good therapist. If not, talk to anyone about it. Also write down the feelings you have when you want to cut. You never know. You could end up as a writer!  I just made up this saying. To avoid hurting yourself, avoid hurting others.

You could snap a rubber band against yourself (like on your wrist) which causes pain but no permanent injury. Also putting ice against your skin causes pain but no permanent injury. Yoga is a great exercise for stress. There is some pain in it but it is a good pain of stretching and releasing. It is very good for you. You can even learn it at home from a book like I did when I was 12 years old. Also on links page it has a place that has meetings around the country for cutters (see 7th link).

The book below (Bodily Harm) is supposed to be a great book on self-mutilation (cutting). It says that cutting is not a disease or addiction. They say that it is a "a mechanism to cope with stress, relieve inexpressible feelings, and gain attention." The authors started a clinic on self-mutilation (cutting) in Chicago.

Here is info on cutting that is outside the box. It deals with lack of self-love or self-hate which is common in today's society. This psychology comes from the movie, The Mission (1986). The main character is played by Robert De Niro. He made his living going into the jungles in Brazil and abducting natives and making them slaves. Since he used a sword, you could say he was a cutter. He killed those who tried to stop him by cutting them. He sleeps with his brother's wife. Instead of giving you all this psychological theory, you will have to learn from the story just like you learn from your own experiences in life.

His brother finds out and tries to pick a fight (duel) with De Niro. He knows that he is better with swords (a better cutter) than his brother so he refuses to fight. His brother goes storming out and De Niro follows him to calm his brother down. The brother bumps into a stranger on the street and challenges him to a duel. De Niro knows that he is better than this commoner and will kill him. So he stops his brother from killing this stranger and says that he is really mad with him and wants to fight him. So they fight and De Niro kills his brother by cutting him. Now he hates himself and does not want to live anymore. Does this sound familiar?

So he joins a monastery. He just stays in his room and is filled with self-hate but this self imposed  punishment does not help him much. A priest (Jeremy Irons) comes to the monastery looking for volunteers to tell natives in the jungles of Brazil about Jesus. He promises that if De Niro comes along, then he can heal him. So De Niro goes along and has a net tied to him with 200 pounds of armor in it. He has to drag it through the jungle wherever they go. It is torture for De Niro but this is what he needs.

At one point the other priests tell Irons that they think he has suffered enough and he should not have to do it anymore. But Irons says that De Niro does not think he has suffered enough and that is what matters. So he has to keep dragging it even though it pains these other priests to see him suffer so much. Finally they get to the interior of the jungle where the natives are. The natives capture them and one of them holds a knife to De Niro's neck. The native recognizes De Niro as the guy who killed his brother during one of his raids. Irons explains to the natives what De Niro and them are doing there and why he is dragging the armor. De Niro knows it is only fair for the native to cut his throat since he killed the native's brother by cutting him with his sword.

So then the native cuts the net, with the armor on it, loose from De Niro. De Niro starts crying and weeping and continues for a long time. That is how his self-hate was healed or cured. Now one way you can help yourself is by helping others which is explained on that page on how to be happier. But you can find a healthy self-torture for yourself. In the book, What is a Jew, a rabbi explains that one purpose of fasting is penitence. This is when someone does something to repent of a sin. So you can try fasting even if you are thin. It causes people to lose weight. The main point is that life can be extremely difficult sometimes but there is always hope for you. If you could feel how much love there was for you, you would start to cry and not stop crying for days. But these would be tears of happiness. You are loved! I now grant you the power to heal yourself.

I am an expert on fasting so my webpage on it is long with quotes from 17 different medical doctors (MDs). Jesus did it for 40 days before preaching to anyone or performing any miracles. Moses did it for 40 days and then the Almighty God gave Moses Her commandments. Also yoga and martial arts are exercises that are just like a penitence. In fact the martial arts actor, Claude Van Damme, became depressed so his holistic doctor looked for the cause. Van Damme's fame and fortune came from his martial arts training which he had done his whole life. But now that he was rich, he had stopped doing it. So his holistic doctor started him training again and his depression was cured or healed and it left the same way that it came.

Alternative

There is a healthy alternative. In martial arts, people will stand under cold or freezing cold water for 10 minutes. Some do it in a shower and others do it under a little waterfalls where the water is freezing cold. This is painful but it helps them with self discipline and personal growth. In martial arts, there are only a handful of grandmasters. I saw a picture of one of them, Gogen Yamaguchi (The Cat), doing it at around age 60. So even though he had been doing it for decades, he was still doing it, meaning that he still got benefit from it. So instead of being shunned by people for cutting, you can do what a 10th degree black belt (red belt), grandmaster of karate does. Here is a picture of him with info on him: The Cat Here is a video of him: The Cat The end of this video shows him under the waterfalls. Also you can try dripping hot wax from a candle onto your skin.

Possible Cure For Cutting

I was thinking about something done by Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed. Since it helped them, maybe it can help you. It is very powerful but is an extreme thing to do. It is fasting. If you see the webpage on depression, it tells how fasting has cured depression and other mental problems. So a week of fasting, where you only consume pure water and nothing else, should make a big enough change to erase the need for cutting. See the page on fasting for what happens to your mind and body during a fast and things to be concerned about. According to the bible, it was only after Jesus fasted for 40 days, did he start preaching and performing miracles.

College

This information comes from the book, Revolution from Within: A Book of Self-Esteem by Gloria Steinem (� 1992). Here is a quote from it (page 124):

"For the last ten years, researchers Terry Denny and Karen Arnold from the University of Illinois have been measuring just how bad it really is. In 1981, they began to follow 80 high school valedictorians [graduated 1st in class]: 34 men and 46 women; white, African-American, Hispanic, and Chinese-American; from a wide variety of economic backgrounds. All graduated at the top of their class and went on to fulfill their promise at a wide variety of colleges, universities, institutes, and later in many cases, at graduate and professional schools. In fact, the women valedictorians, greater in number from the start, also had college grade averages slightly higher than those of the men.

After two years of college, however, intellectual self-esteem among the women had plummeted. Though 23% of the males and 21% of the females had described themselves as "far above average" in intellect when surveyed after high school, by sophomore year in college, that proportion had remained at 22% among the men-- but dropped to 4% among the women.

By the time these students graduated, 25% of the men had an estimate of themselves as "far above average"-- but none of the women did."

" 'We have long known that rape has been a way of terrorizing us and keeping us in subjection,' writes the distinguished historian Gerda Lerner. 'Now we also know that we have participated, although unwittingly, in the rape of our minds.' "

Things are changing. Now there are more women than men in college, medical school and law school. So I think that there will be a shift of more men in blue collar jobs and more women in white collar jobs. In Philadelphia, there is more construction going on than ever including the building that will be the highest building in Philadelphia. Construction workers can make a lot of money and men are usually better at it than women. A couple that I know has 2 kids. The husband is a construction worker and the wife is a paralegal. The husband said that many college graduates are now construction workers.

In the book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, there is a chapter about yoga and martial arts and about how they are so good for creating the flow experience. See the page "What is Enlightenment" for more on the flow experience and how it can make time stop for you. Actress Jennifer Aniston says "Yoga calms me down. It gives me energy and focus." "My legs got leaner. My arms got strong. I've maybe grown half an inch from aligning my spine." She also does meditation. You can email me at  Contact Us

Alcohol and Drugs

Ignoring the effects on physical health, alcohol is a legal drug. It used to be an illegal drug. It makes people less relaxed and so more stressed out and less happy. Drugs cause a slingshot effect. You get a long term effect to the opposite of the short term effect. This is due to homeostasis. My 1,900 page Mosby Medical Dictionary defines homeostasis as: "[Gk, homoios + stasis, standing still] a relative constancy in the internal environment of the body, naturally maintained by the adaptive responses that promote healthy survival. Various sensing, feedback, and control mechanisms function to effect this steady state."

Whatever effect the drug has on the body, the body produces an opposite effect to balance it out. If you have no trouble getting to sleep, then take sleeping pills every night for a week and then try to get to sleep without them. So whatever pleasurable effect the alcohol has temporarily, it has the opposite effect on you permanently. This is the same with all drugs. You can take drugs to make you high, but then the body produces an opposite effect on you. If you do things like exercise, yoga and meditation then your body produces its own chemicals to make you feel good. See the paragraph up on this page.

Here is an example in physics of this happening. When you push on a wall, the reason that the wall does not move is because it is pushing back against you with the same force. The harder you push, the harder the wall pushes back against you and that is why it does not move. If you run into a wall, you get knocked back in the opposite direction due to it pushing back against you. If you create more force on it, than it can push back with, then it will move and you will break through it. Not using drugs, alcohol or smoking is great advice for teen girls. See our privacy policy.

Here is a site with many different teen issues of girls and boys including puberty, masturbation and cutting: http://www.teengrowth.com

Phi (� or �)-- the Golden Ratio

The human body is based on 5 and phi-- the golden ratio.  Phi is the Greek letter � or �. The torso has 5 appendages. Each limb has 5 appendages. The face has 5 holes in it. Raise 5 to the 0.5 power (the square root of 5). Multiply it by 0.5 and add 0.5 and you get phi. All animals are based on phi. It is the ratio where when you divide something into 2 parts, the larger part is to the smaller part as the whole is to the larger part. Divide the smaller part into the larger part and you get a number larger than 1 (1.6180339...). Divide the larger number into the smaller number and you get the same number without the 1 (0.6180339...). In other words the inverse of phi is the same number but without the 1. The length of your head compared to the width of your head, the length of your upper body (above navel) compared to the length of your lower body and the length of your lower arm compared to the length of your upper arm are just some of the places on your body that have the golden ratio.

All trees and plants are based on the Fibonacci sequence where the next number is the sum of the two previous numbers (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13...). As this gets higher, the ratio of 2 numbers in sequence approaches phi-- the golden ratio. There is the very famous drawing of Leonardo Da Vinci of man (see drawing on the left). He drew this to go in his friend's book, The Divine Proportion, to illustrate phi-- the golden ratio. If you like this website, then tell everyone you know about it and check back for more of the latest news about health and well being.

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends and the most patient of teachers." --Charles W. Eliot "The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." --Mark Twain

Copyright 2006 by Chuck Bluestein

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